Somehow I don’t find it strange at all that the first real dream I had in Germany was about Machine. We were sitting around, our backs against the walls—of my grandmother’s house in south Florida, strangely enough—bullshitting like we always do. Me, Albert Tsai, Geoff, and one or two others were in the room but it seemed like the rest of the team was also around somewhere goofing off, spring-break style. We were talking about commitment, missing practices, the balancing act. We all recognized that nobody could expect the kind of commitment the team was striving for, that life happened to even the most dedicated teammates. One of us started saying, the key was that we couldn’t brush it under the rug anymore. Stop pretending like it isn’t a real problem.
I knew instinctively (and after I woke up thought a lot about) what they were saying. Make it a point to talk about it when somebody skips practice—not to make them feel bad, but to support him and give him the opportunity to recommit. Extend the post-practice huddle: if the team is going to be a family, have regular family meetings. The captains aren’t the only ones relying on you, so when you don’t show up we all deserve an explanation. A chance to tell you that we care you come. A chance to offer help on that upcoming test. A culture of individual responsibility, but backed up by each member in the group. Not top-down, but rather grass-roots. Round-table style, where everybody respects each other enough to tell it like it is without negativity or resentment. It was much simpler said in my dream, I don’t remember how it was put but that is the gist of it. A bigger emphasis on group communication. I don’t know if that makes any sense but it made me miss the team and those late night practices. Even when hardly anybody showed up, we were a team and that mattered to me.
I think it’s what I’ll miss most.