Past, Present, and Future

I'm on a bus back from Boston, and there's only one thing on my mind.

Metro NY Sectionals 2009.

It started with a few old movies that a former captain and teammate of mine shot. I cracked open a can of Monster and turned on the 05 MNY Sectionals highlight reel, wherein one can see Machine beat Princeton into submission 15-4 in the semi-finals. A team in control, excited about every point and taking care of business. The beat bounces in the background as the handlers bounce the disc from sideline to sideline, breaking marks at will and skying the bejeezus out of any fool who goes up for Machine plastic. The finals are no different--you can hear the cheers echo across University Park every time the team rushes the field to celebrate a score. The best moment of the video is its end:
"Rutgers Machine Ultimate goes 7-0 to win Sectionals."

Next up is 05 ME Regionals. A team underestimated goes toe to toe with some of the best teams on the east coast and comes away with a 2-2 record and a -1 point differential, against the 2, 3, 4, and 6th seeds of the tournament. I sip Monster while watching consecutive Callahans, and I study the fire and focus of my former teammates. There is still only one thing on my mind: Metro NY Sectionals 09.

06 ME Regionals and the tone shifts. The tension, the urgency of the team is visible in their movements. The plays they make and don't all have that in common, and every D and layout burns with an intensity you can tell had been bubbling for a long time. Every spike and score is a statement. I've started to grind my teeth between sips of Monster. I want out of this bus and onto that field. I want to be forced to practice outside of my comfort zone, tired from consecutive fight clubs and a grueling workout the night before, defending a teammate who knows I will love to hate him til the scrimmage is over and we can shake hands knowing neither went easy on the other. A teammate who I can trust every day from now to April 19th without exception.

I listen to "Breathe" by Fabolous while watching the next video, 07 MNY Sectionals. I'm watching myself and my teammates on the film, but seeing in my head what would never make a highlight reel. In the front of my brain is our collapse against Princeton, NYU, and TCNJ in 2008--but in the back of my mind is still only Sectionals 09.

In the coming days and weeks, I will be faced with challenges and choices. The pain in my thumb will fade. The animal inside of me, clawing to get out, will quiet at times. But there is one sentence that will reawaken that beast anytime during the next 94 days.

Rutgers Machine Ultimate goes undefeated at Metro New York Sectionals 2009.

Why do you sweat and bleed?